Some dreams are worth the struggle - long version

(The abridged version of this report can be found on www.runningmania.com in the Race Reports section)

I did it! I ran my first 10K ever yesterday and I am so proud!

If you read my previous post, you know how long it took me to get to this start line. When I started training for my 10K this time, I had less physical barriers because I had more knowledge of my body’s strengths and weaknesses. For example, I knew from the start that I could not follow any of the popular 10K programs out there because the quick increase in mileage would put me at risk for injury. One January day, I developed my own “4 months program to your first 10K”, which consisted of a 3 runs/week with a slow increase in LSD distance and a cut-back week every 3 weeks.

During my 10K training, I discovered that the challenge was 90% mental for me and I developed strategies to develop mental strength. This winter, I ran my first 6K, 7K, 8K and 9K. I PB’d on the 5K distance. I learned to swim to cross-train and prepare me for the next step: triathlon training. I learned that believing is the first, but crucial step, to achieving anything good in life. I learned that it's OK to be discouraged, but that you have to pick yourself up and keep moving forward. I learned that a great support system makes all the difference!

The first part of my training went very well, and I slowly but surely got from 6K LSDs to 9K LSDs. There were some tough runs, but I found the strenght in me to push through them and to be proud of my accomplishements. I started feeling like I was "a real runner", even though people kept telling me I became one a long time ago. Somehow, this title didn't resonate with me until after I had run my first 7K.

The last month wasn’t very good for my training. After I PB'd at Run for Reach, I lost a lot of my motivation and didn't run much. A few weeks I only ran once, or 2 time maximum. I revised my original goal of 80min to 90min. I figured I would be happy with anything under 90 minutes and I would be very disapointed if it took me more than 90 minutes. I really thought I could do under 85 minutes, but nothing close to 80 minutes. Still, 80 minutes was my whisper goal.

I knew that I had to take control of "my mental" if I was to have a good race. I knew the enemy would be the negative thoughts and the self-doubts and I had to come up with a plan. I wrote up a race plan and dedicated each of my 10 kilometers to someone or a special event, in order to keep my head off negative thoughts. I figured if I had many subjects/people to think about, this wouldn't leave any room for anything negative.

My plan looked like this:

Km 1 = how I got started running and my first race ever
Km 2 = enjoying the time that I would have on the course and reflect on the achievements of the past months
Km 3 = the strong/tough women I know and how I want to be like them
Km 4 = injured people, and one special person who is working so much on herself right now, trying to put herself back together (I could also have put this person in the “strong people” km)
Km 5 = the people who believed in me, even/mostly when I didn’t
Km 6 = my friend Liette, with whom I started training for my first 10K two years ago, who got injured in the process and still hasn’t started to run again. I so wish we were doing this together! Thinking of her made me push through the hill.
Km 7 = JF and my cats. JF has been a great support for me and put up with my anxieties, discouragement, negativity… thank you sweetie!
Km 8 = someone who helped me enjoy the process during my 10K training. At that point, my friend Kiza ran with me for a little while and it helped keep my mind off the race. Thanks Kiza!
Km 9 = enthusiastic people cheering on me with their orange pom-poms, and not minding being BOP as long as they had fun
Km 10 = I ran for me. Because this has been so hard, and I conquered my fears, anxieties and self-doubts!

My plan also included doing 5:1s, only looking at my intervals (not the stopwatch or my speed) and sticking to the plan. My #1 objective, though, was to complete those 5 minutes intervals and to slow down to make sure I could complete them. I followed the plan!

Many times, I thought of a certain ultra-marathoner who was running 100K that day. I kept her company for a while – while we were both accomplishing something important for us. Congratulations Krista - you did this!

I had the pleasure of meeting John Bingham at the Expo on Saturday and being congratulated by him in advance. I knew I had to live up to The Penguin's congratulations. I though a lot about his famous quote on Saturday: “the miracle is not that I finished; the miracle is that I had the courage to start”. It is really miraculous that I got into running. I have never been an athlete in my whole life, and now look at me! This is unbelievable!

Tears of joy were shed a few times during the race. Tears of joy were shed in the chute area, when I crossed the finish line and when I got my medal. Tears of joy were shed when I found JF and he hugged me. Tears of joy are shed as I write this report.

My finish line plan was to take a walk break from 500m to 300m to the finish line, and then run as fast as I could to finish strong – this explains why I was walking when I saw many of my friends cheering for me so close to the finish line. At 300m, I started running again, according to my plan. At 200m, I picked up the pace enough that people in the crowd noticed and started cheering very loudly for me, it was AMAZING and certainly one of the highlights of my life. All those strangers I didn’t know were giving me my 2 minutes of glory - me, the supposedly non-athlete! I passed the finish line, cried, got my medal, got my picture taken and ate nothing because I came in when there was nothing left.

I made the mistake of drinking Gatorade on an empty stomach after my race. Not long after, I started having terrible cramps and I felt like I was going to pass out. We finally made it home and I had a shower, but I couldn't get better. I wasn't able to fall asleep and I woke up during the night and couldn't go back to sleep. I guess this is what you get when your average heart rate is over 170 for 80 minutes. Oh well, I survived!

Yesterday, I conquered “my mental”. I reached my whisper goal of running an 80 minutes 10K. I don’t know what else I could ask for.

Some dreams are really worth the struggle.