Sick of Riding my Bike (!!!)

On Monday, I rode my bike to work. I didn't feel like it at all. At this time of the year, it is colder in the morning and you need to wear more clothes. The humidity gets at you and you feel cold for a part of the day. At night, it is windy and it is starting to get dark when you leave the office. For all these reasons, I've been feeling more miserable on my bike in the past 2 weeks. I am very surprised to feel that way about my bike when I enjoyed riding it so much this Summer!

I reached 800km riden in 2009 last week. I will have made it to 850 before I store my commuter for the winter. Looking back, I'll say that I had a great time on by bikes once I got past the fear. The highlight of my summer of riding is definitely my participation in The Canadian Triathlon Sprint Tri Relay where I rode for 30km straight for the first time ever. To me, this was a huge accomplishment! :)

So... Dear Stardust and in'fusion, thank you for the good times we shared in 2009. I'll aim for 1,500km next year so you better rest well during the winter months!

The week of 3&1s

It's a miracle: I'm up to running 3&1s and I haven't been sidelined yet! In the past few months, whenever I was ready to increase the lenght of my running intervals, I got injured or sick. *knock on wood* this morning I ran 5 times 3&1s for the first time since... I forget, it's been too long! I mean, I've ran 3 minutes at a time in the past year, but never as part of a structured program like Learn to Run.

This morning's run was brutal. I had doubts that I could do it before I left and I think it weakened my mental strenght before I even got started. My lungs were on fire the whole time and it took almost the whole minute for the pain to go away. The fourth 3-minutes interval was the worst and I had to think about the women around me who are going through much bigger difficulties than this interval was. If it wasn't from those two women, I may have started walking before the 3 minutes were up.

I ran/walked about 2.8km this morning, for my own mini-version of Run for the Cure. This year, I ran for my director who's starting her battle against breast cancer. I prayed for her quick recovery and I also prayed so we are all strong enough to manage with her workload while she's away for surgery and radiation therapy. I suppose my daily work will be my own little contribution to her battle. I feel lucky that I get to be part of such a great team at work: I feel like everyone is ready to step up to keep things going while our fearless leader is away.

So now, I'm still wondering whether I should sign up for the Learn to Run clinic that supposedly starts next Monday (on Thanksgiving Monday, this must be a mistake!). I'll go to the Slater St. Running Room store this week to confirm the dates and to find out a bit more about the clinic. I think it would be a great motivation to take the clinic, but at the same time, I'm worried that the RR program will go too quickly and I'll get injured. I usually work with customized programs where I have frequent cut-back weeks and where I take things slow. Now, I'm worried that increasing the lenght of the intervals each week will be too much for my body. Hence the doubts. I suppose I could always start with the clinic and take things as they come. At the end of the day, pretty much all of the runs in the Learn to Run program are between 2.5 and 3K, it's just the lenght of the interval that changes, but you'll always run between 12 and 20 minutes. Decisions, decisions...

On my to-do list for this week is one more thing: to investigate the rehabilitation programs offered by a local clinic for people recovering from injuries like the ones I had. I think it would be beneficial to work with a professional who could assess the damage and prescribe specific strenght-training exercises to make me stronger. I'm not sure how much this would cost me, though. I guess that's why I need to make a call, right? I'll never know if I don't pick up the phone and ask!

DNS'ing

This morning, I was supposed to do another try-a-tri, but I bailed out because of a number of reasons that I won't go through here. To summarize, I wasn't up to the challenge, physically or mentally, and I don't regret my decision at all.

I started running again and I'm trying to be more disciplined about it. I ran twice last week, each time doing 6 x 2:1s. I also went swimming on Thursday night and I biked a lot. So, I'm keeping active, even if I'm not following any kind of formal training program.

Today, I went to the doctor and got my blood test results: they were awesome! I was a bit worried about my cholesterol level, what with my 10lbs weight gain and relative sedentary lifestyle. I was happily surprised to find out my levels were fine and that my healthy cholesterol was super high! The doctor said it was "unabnormally high" which made me smile from ear to ear. He also told me I don't have celiac disease, meaning no gluten intolerance. Woohoo! The best part was when he said that the results didn't point out to any nutrient malabsorption! It means there are other reasons why I keep getting sick, but at least I'm keeping my nutrients in. :)

Now, if only I could get rid of my extreme allergies (which may well be the cause for my weak immune system). I have an appointment for allergy testing in November and my plan is to try desensitization.

Things are kind of looking up.

Two Turtles and One Crabby Broad at The Canadian

Cynthia, Jo-Jo and myself decided to sign up for the Sprint Tri Relay at The Canadian Triathlon. I was doing the bike leg of the relay, which consisted of a 30K ride. My plan was to train for this because I have never ridden my bike for 30K at a time. Of course, the training didn’t really happen for a number of reasons and when I looked at my old bike logs and saw that I only done 25K twice in my life, I started doubting that I could do it. I decided that I would pace myself and take it a little easier on the first loop and push harder on the second loop if I felt good.

It was my 5th ride on my road bike since my accident in June 2008. I was still a little scared, but having had an almost fear-free ride on my road bike the week before the race gave me confidence that I would be alright. And I was! I’m happy to report that I made peace with my road bike. I had a great time riding it and I only had one moment when I had thoughts of potential bike accidents. Usually, I would have had at least a dozen of those frightened moments.

The first loop was good. I was passed by a lot of people, but that was OK. I was pacing myself!

KMs 15 to 20 were tough: I had crazy wrist and elbow pain on my left side that I just couldn’t shake. It hurt a lot.

At 20K, I decided to play some mental games to take my mind off the pain. My commute into work being 15K, I decided to think about where I usually am 5K into my commute, what the landmarks are, where the intersections are, etc. This definitely helped me pass the time, but this last 10K was the worst 10K ride of my life: it felt like it was taking forever!

But I made it, got off the bike in 1:18:xx, which was right where I thought I would be. I was proud to have done 30K, but that pride was nothing compared to the relief I was feeling at having made peace with my bike. I really enjoy riding this bike – in fact, I went for another 20K today! The ride today was even better because I didn't have any fearful moments. I wouldn't dare saying that I'm out of the woods now, but things are looking up for sure!

I enjoyed doing the Relay with Cynthia and Jo-Jo. It was a lot less stressful than doing the triathlon all on my own. I enjoy the camaraderie I get at races and even more when I'm part of a team. It was great to spend some time with Jo-Jo as we waited for Cynthia and then with Cynthia as we waited for Jo-Jo. It was also awesome to have my medal handed out to me by Jesse, to bump into Kiza on the beach and Nancy outside the T-Zone and to chat with Joe and Jesse before the race. I think it's great that the love of the sport bring so many people together. I really enjoy the atmosphere at triathlons more than I do at running races. In triathlon, I get good comments and cheers from many people and I get to be around the very good athletes. I don't get that with running.

So, anyway, Jo-Jo, Cynthia and I agreed that we would do another Relay next year: this time, the Olympic Tri at Riverkeeper. I'll have to bring my cycling up to 40K by then! That should be a great motivation to get on the dreaded trainer this winter.

Blog Display

If anyone reads my blog, can you let me know if the page setup looks good for you? It looks great on my screen, but on JF's screen, it looks as if a 3-year-old had organized the pictures on the page. Now, I have an old screen and JF has a widescreen one, so I was wondering if my blog looks awful to most of you. Thanks for letting me know!

Vacances estivales 2009

Les vacances sont maintenant terminées, c'est le retour officiel au travail demain.

Nous avons eu de belles vacances, malgré le rhume assez intense que nous avons eu chacun notre tour JF et moi et dont nous ne sommes pas encore complètement rétablis. Pendant ces 2 semaines, nous avons vu très peu de pluie - le dimanche où nous étions sur la route, il a plu toute la journée; puis il a plu un peu en fin de journée aujourd'hui. À part cela, il a fait soleil et très chaud pendant toutes nos vacances! Ça fait changement du début de l'été, où il pleuvait à chaque jour et où il ne faisait pas très chaud!

Nos vacances ont commencé par le National Capital Triathlon, où JF a fait son premier duathlon et où j'ai fais mon retour au triathlon. C'était une excellente façon de commencer nos vacances puisque ça nous a mis dans un bel état d'esprit. Le lendemain, on a fait la route jusqu'à Ogunquit, Maine. Nous avons suivi les conseils du patron de JF et avons évité les autoroutes, soit disant pour nous raccourcir le chemin. C'était une mauvaise idée! Ça nous a stressé plus qu'autre chose. Il fallait constamment changer de petite route et c'était dur de garder le fil. Aussi, on était sur des routes où il est difficile de dépasser, alors c'était parfois un peu pénible quand on suivait une auto qui roulait trop lentement. De plus, il pleuvait sans arrêt, ce qui rendait la visibilité un peu plus difficile.

Arrivés à Ogunquit, nous sommes allé souper et avons inauguré nos vacances en mangeant des fish & chips! Ensuite, nous sommes allés à notre B&B puis à la mer. Ce soir là, il faisait très humide et c'était très brumeux. Mais la mer était belle et elle sentait bon!

Le lendemain matin, JF m'a confirmé qu'il était malade. Il avait un bon rhume et j'espérais ne pas l'attraper. Nous sommes allé à la plage après un copieux déjeuner préparé par notre hôte, Bob. Il a fait très beau et nous nous sommes baignés dans une mer à 61F (16 C). C'était très rafraîchissant et ça semblait aider JF avec ses symptômes du rhume. Le soir, nous avons décidé d'aller jeter un oeil à Perkins Cove, à l'autre bout d'Ogunquit. Nous avons donc pris un trolley bondé et la ballade a été assez pénible puisque le trolley était plein et que la douzaine d'enfants dans le trolley criait et/ou pleurait. On s'est finalement rendu à destination et avons mangé notre souper avec une vue sur la mer. C'était très bien. Nous avons marché le long du Marginal Way pour revenir à notre hôtel. Malheureusement, il faisait noir et on ne voyait pas très bien, mais ce sentier semble offrir un superbe point de vue sur la mer et Perkins Cove.

Notre 2e jour de plage a été semblable au précédent. Ce matin là, je suis allé courir sur la plage avant déjeuner. C'était vraiment agréable, mais très difficile compte tenu de la chaleur et de l'humidité qui étaient déjà fortement présentes. Ce soir là, nous sommes allé manger à un restaurant qu'on avait découvert l'été passé: Frill's. On est ensuite arrêté se chercher une crème glacée au Ben & Jerry's avant de retourner au B&B. Le 3e jour de plage fut semblable aux deux autres: soleil, chaleur, baignade. JF était de plus en plus enrhumé et il ronflait vraiment très fort la nuit, alors on ne dormait pas bien ni l'un ni l'autre.

Le jeudi matin, nous sommes allé dire un dernier au revoir à la mer, avant de déjeuner et de partir du B&B. Nous avons pris la route vers Boston! Ce fut un peu compliqué de se rendre, puisqu'il y avait des bouchons de circulation en raison de construction sur l'autoroute. Puis, on voulait aller à l'équivalent de la MEC, mais c'était un peu compliqué. Le retour vers l'hôtel était aussi compliqué, mais on s'est finalement rendus sains et saufs! Une fois l'auto stationnée (pour la modique somme de 39$ US par jour!!!), nous avons enfin pu relaxer.

Notre premier soir à Boston, nous sommes allés voir le Quincy Market. C'est là que nous avons finalement décidé de souper. Nous avons mangé dans un endroit très sympa, appelé Wagamama, où nous nous sommes régalés de bouffe japonaise. Le lendemain, nous sommes allé visiter le New England Aquarium, où nous avons rencontré "la soeur jumelle séparée à la naissance" de notre chatte Litchie, une belle phoque qui adorait se prélasser au soleil, couchée sur le dos. C'était très drôle de noter les ressemblances dans le comportement entre ce phoque et notre chatte! À l'intérieur de l'Aquarium, nous avons pu observer des pingouins. L'Aquarium compte de nombreux pingouins africains, qui ont été rescapés suite à un déversement pétrolier. C'était très intéressant de lire l'information sur le sauvetage de ces pingouins et de voir le genre de vie qu'ils ont maintenant à l'Aquarium. Nous avons aussi vu des requins et une énorme tortue de mer dans le bassin central de l'Aquarium, qui fait au moins 4 étages! C'est assez impressionnant de voir tous ces poissons cohabiter dans cet énorme bassin et ce l'était encore plus ce matin là, puisqu'il y avait un employé dans le bassin! Il nourrissait les poissons. Ça faisait bizarre de voir un homme dans un bassin où il y avait 3 requins!

Dans l'après-midi, nous avons décidé de marcher la Freedom Trail qui passe à travers les quartiers historiques de Boston. C'est un superbe concept - suivre une ligne rouge qui va de part et d'autres des quartiers centraux historiques - mais il nous a un peu déçu. On s'attendait à ce qu'il y ait des panneaux d'interprétation expliquant les lieux que nous visitions, mais ce n'était pas le cas. On a vu plein de belles choses, mais sans trop en connaître l'histoire. Apparemment que c'est mieux de payer pour être accompagné d'un guide (!!!) si on veut connaître l'histoire de la ville. De plus, une fois rendu au bout de cette trail de 2.5 milles, il fallait revenir sur nos pas pour retourner au centre-ville. On avait chaud et on était tannés de marcher, alors on a pris l'autobus de ville pour retourner au centre. L'autobus coûtait seulement $1.50!! C'est vraiment pas cher.

On est retourné à Quincy Market pour souper. Cette fois-là, nous sommes allés là où on sert la meilleure Clam Chowder en ville: chez la chaîne Houston's. JF a confirmé qu'elle était vraiment excellente.

Le lendemain, après une nuit plutôt blanche, nous avons décidé de rentrer à la maison un jour plus tôt. J'ai commencé à avoir des symptômes de rhume à mon tour dans l'auto et je suis malade depuis. Notre deuxième semaine de vacances a donc été peu mouvementée: on est resté à la maison, on a profité de la piscine, on a regardé beaucoup de films. Ce n'était pas la semaine que j'espérais, mais on n'y peut rien.

Insight on Fear

I had some great insight today. I was thinking about my bike fear, and well, my fear in general. I was thinking how I've always been so careful. I've never been one to do stupid things and the risks that I took in life have always been calculated. I'm not saying that I never took any risks, because I did, but I've always made sure there was a way out or I was protected enough when I took those risks. Some of the risks I took were huge, but looking back, they could have been even bigger. For example: I've wanted to be an exchange student when I was in high school, but it was very risky to just go to a new country, learn a new language, make new friends... I didn't do it and I kind of regret it, even though I understand why I made the decision not to pursue this dream. When it was time for me to go to University, I went to Montreal. It was a new city, with new people, but the risk wasn't as big. See what I mean?

Anyway, so I was thinking about those fears and how I have always been careful when taking risks. It has always served me well, kept me away from any harm. Then, I concentrated on the bike fear and realized that when I had my bike accident, the illusion that I had that I would never be in pain if I was careful disappeared. I could get hurt because of other people's actions and decisions, and no matter how careful I am, I can't control other people's lack of carefulness. I have been feeling scared for over a year now, because I now understand that other people can hurt me. They can make a stupid decision that will have me suffer. I know this is a life reality, but until my accident, I never saw things this way. I always thought I could be careful enough and avoid problems.

This realization hit me hard just a few hours ago: the fear is there to protect me, but I have to keep pushing beyond it. I can't refrain from doing the things I want to do because other people may make stupid decisions and hurt me. I don't trust other people anymore, because I know they're not as careful as I am. It doesn't mean that I have to lock myself in the house for fear of being the victim of someone's poor judgement. It means that I have to acknowledge this fact and do my best to control what I can, while still enjoying my life. Wow. Now, I gotta go work on that!