I always say that challenges life throws at you are learning opportunities. I have always had a hard time dealing with injuries: I get depressed and I go into victim mode very easily. I usually overeat and tune out from the rest of the world when I'm injured. I'm a big whiner and it's worse when I'm injured.
Having been injured almost non-stop for 3 months now, I had my share of challenges. I had to learn to grieve for the goals that would not be achieved and the excitement that wouldn't be had. I had to learn to find other ways to keep myself busy while injured. I had to talk to myself non-stop so that I wouldn't fall into the deep well of depression. It has been a constant battle, and it will probably continue for another month or so before I'm out of the woods, relatively speaking. I had to refrain from eating my emotions - I didn't gain a single pound (yet), and this is a huge success! I had to make efforts to reach out to others and be in the company of people who cared and were compassionate, but who didn't fuel my feeling of being a victim. It's been a delicate balance to achieve, and some days I'm better at it than others. But I'm alive... I'm angry, but I'm okay... I'm learning the hard way, but I'm okay...
In the end, I'll be okay. This is what I have to focus on.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
IMLP 2008
Today was a very exciting day: Ironman Lake Placid. I'm always energized and inspired to watch people complete their Ironman. This year, my friend James was doing his first and it was awesome to wait for him at the finish line, from the comfort of my home office. Congratulations James!
I am focusing on the excitement of other people's successes rather than on my own roadblocks and I like that better. Sure, I got a little teared up earlier tonight when I thought that I would not come close to a finish line any time soon, but being sad is much more manageable than being angry or feeling sorry for myself.
Small victory: I can now walk (limp) around the house. I was even able to run a few errands today, but I paid for it and had to take ibuprofen and stay off my feet when I got home. Tomorrow is back to work - I've been working from home last week. I'm a little bit stressed about the commute, because my only option is to take the bus and then wait for a shuttle. I'm not sure what time I'll get to my desk and I'm feeling a little guilty, but at the same time, it's not my fault if our office is in a crappy location with no possibility of daily parking. I don't perform miracles and since I'm on my own here, that's the best I can come up with. OK, I'm angry with that part: I can't believe my commute is so complicated, simply because walking 1.5K each way is out of the question for now.
So... I did a bit of thinking and I'm thinking I could do the Try-a-Tri at the Last Chance Triathlon on September 21. This race is 10 weeks after my fracture, and I should be able to run at least a little by then. This Try-a-Tri is 100m swim, 11K bike and 3K run. I can definitely pull it off. If my recovery goes well and I feel bold, I'll still do the Sprint Tri to seek some redemption and show the world that I can get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down. hehehe
I am focusing on the excitement of other people's successes rather than on my own roadblocks and I like that better. Sure, I got a little teared up earlier tonight when I thought that I would not come close to a finish line any time soon, but being sad is much more manageable than being angry or feeling sorry for myself.
Small victory: I can now walk (limp) around the house. I was even able to run a few errands today, but I paid for it and had to take ibuprofen and stay off my feet when I got home. Tomorrow is back to work - I've been working from home last week. I'm a little bit stressed about the commute, because my only option is to take the bus and then wait for a shuttle. I'm not sure what time I'll get to my desk and I'm feeling a little guilty, but at the same time, it's not my fault if our office is in a crappy location with no possibility of daily parking. I don't perform miracles and since I'm on my own here, that's the best I can come up with. OK, I'm angry with that part: I can't believe my commute is so complicated, simply because walking 1.5K each way is out of the question for now.
So... I did a bit of thinking and I'm thinking I could do the Try-a-Tri at the Last Chance Triathlon on September 21. This race is 10 weeks after my fracture, and I should be able to run at least a little by then. This Try-a-Tri is 100m swim, 11K bike and 3K run. I can definitely pull it off. If my recovery goes well and I feel bold, I'll still do the Sprint Tri to seek some redemption and show the world that I can get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down. hehehe
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Broken Toe
My bad luck this year continues... I broke a toe on Saturday night. It may be dislocated too, I'll find out when I get more x-rays done tomorrow.
I was just starting to recover from my bike crash. In fact, the day I broke my toe was the day that I got back on my bike for the first time since the crash! I didn't get x-rays done after the bike crash, but I know that three ribs were either bruised, cracked or broken, that my cheekbone took the hit and that I bruised the bone to the side of my little finger despite the fact that I was wearing cycling gloves. My road rash on my shoulder recovered nicely, but the shoulder itself is messed up from the crash. I'm getting ART for it and it's helping.
So, I got on my bike last Saturday and went for a short ride. My shoulder and neck were hurting a lot while on the bike and I was scared of something else happening to me during my ride. I used my breaks a lot on downhills - which sucks, I was just starting to be more comfortable with speed! The most important thing though is that I enjoyed my ride.
Then, I broke and possibly dislocated my toe while going down the stairs that night. Should have done some speed on the bike! :p
What started out as a great training year turns into a succession of injuries. This is very frustrating.
I was just starting to recover from my bike crash. In fact, the day I broke my toe was the day that I got back on my bike for the first time since the crash! I didn't get x-rays done after the bike crash, but I know that three ribs were either bruised, cracked or broken, that my cheekbone took the hit and that I bruised the bone to the side of my little finger despite the fact that I was wearing cycling gloves. My road rash on my shoulder recovered nicely, but the shoulder itself is messed up from the crash. I'm getting ART for it and it's helping.
So, I got on my bike last Saturday and went for a short ride. My shoulder and neck were hurting a lot while on the bike and I was scared of something else happening to me during my ride. I used my breaks a lot on downhills - which sucks, I was just starting to be more comfortable with speed! The most important thing though is that I enjoyed my ride.
Then, I broke and possibly dislocated my toe while going down the stairs that night. Should have done some speed on the bike! :p
What started out as a great training year turns into a succession of injuries. This is very frustrating.
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